June 13th, 2012

Ok...So I figure it is TIME to add baby Lucas' birth story! :) And my-my-my, what a great one it is! So we all know my due date was June 20th. Well, baby didn't think so! I felt fine the day before, like nothing. I woke up at about 6am on the 13th feeling weird and kind of cramping. So I took a shower and it didn't go away. I started realizing a pattern, so I started timing. I was laying down in bed. I text the dads letting them know that I was timing and wasn't sure if I would be going into the hospital. Then when I finally realized, ok it's time... we headed to the hospital. My mom kept bugging me to get a wheelchair, but I was fine. I just walked through them. So we get up to triage and I had a contraction while she was checking us in (we were still standing) and it kind of bothered me. But I still was talking to her through it. So then they get me into a bed and the lady checks me. She says "You are 8cm, and you're so calm!". I got a little excited but in an instant it turned into tears. I go pretty fast and just KNEW I would be having him before his parents could be there. So I had a little freak out moment. I said "They aren't going to make it" and I just couldn't stop the tears. Then I dried it up. I text them telling them how far I was already. They were so sweet, they told me not to worry and they knew I would take care of him until they got there.

So, I go into the labor room and start getting my IV, BP monitor and everything set up. I wasn't going to get the epidural, but everything happened so fast I decided maybe it was for the best. So I think it was maybe 20min after my epidural that I started pushing...it all happened so fast! Baby Lucas made his entrance at 11:54am after 4 pushes. It was so weird. The dr placed him on my chest and it was like...when you babysit someone's baby you hold them extra careful and extra tight. I knew I wouldn't have those "mommy feelings" for him, but I didn't know exactly what it would feel like until I saw him for the first time. I was excited and I care for him and I am SOOOO thankful he was ok. I have love for him.. It was a weird feeling...and boy is he a screamer! He was 7lbs8oz 20inches! :) My biggest baby yet!

So they wheeled us off to the recovery room and I was holding him. He stayed pretty quiet when he was wrapped up. They have this sort of "ritual" where in the hallway you go through there is a button. Once you press this button it signifies that someone in the hospital just had a baby, and it plays a lullaby all throughout the hospital. The nurses stopped there and told me to press it. I said "No, I really think the parents should when they get here. That will mean they are a family now" The nurses kept asking me "Are you sure" And I said oh yes, he isn't MY baby! So we moved along. We got into the room and the nurses took the baby and I transferred myself onto the other bed. One of the nurses was pregnant and due in July. She kept telling me "I hope I labor like you". They kept making fun of me because I was texting while in labor. LOL

We weren't in there for too long before the daddies showed up. Right when they walked into the room my eyes started getting all watery. One of them grabbed the baby and the other hugged me :) It felt so good. I started getting super emotional. Because this was what I was waiting for...for them to be together. To be a family. They did really well with him :) It was awesome to watch! It was such an amazing experience. Something I am so thankful to be a part of. I do miss being pregnant, but am enjoying being "empty" for right now. Until I heal. ;)

Nesting?

Ok so...I am not sure how to take this... well, let me explain for those who don't know. Well, nesting normally happens for me at the end of the pregnancy. With my own children I normally make sure everything is washed, everything is sanitized, clean, laundry done, EVERYTHING. Everything has to be perfect. I know in my head that I do not have to do that because there is NO baby coming home with me. I DO think my "nesting" has kicked in and I got that natural boost of energy. But it's weird because it's like I KNOW I don't have to prepare the house. So instead I think my mind just wants to cook. I have cooked everything... Yesterday I made carmelized chicken with potatoes YUM! And chocolate covered strawberries and homemade red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. Tonight I am making a mexican style casserole and homemade rice. No sweets tonight, I am waiting til everyone finishes it all from last night ;) I am also making homemade spaghetti sauce for tomorrow! YUM! I am making extra that way I can make homemade lasagna on Sunday. Oh my...see? I just can't stop looking up recipes and trying to think up what to cook next! haha Getting the kitchen dirty, cleaning it, and doing it all over again! That has been the routine around here!

So enough of that! Anyway, I am pretty sure I have "dropped". The upside to that is I can breathe better, but the down side is that I have to pee more often. Which is insane because that was already an hourly chore. I did some laps in the pool today too! Yay! I feel pretty good, besides the swelling that happens throughout the day in my feet. Never had that happen! :) So it's crazy to look down and see "fat" feet. Today I am 35 weeks and 2 days! Wow...I keep counting down the days until my due date! It is pretty crazy. So that is it for today!

An Angel!

I have been called and angel several times in the past few weeks... When people tell me I feel weird. I don't feel like an "Angel". I don't feel that way at all. So when they say it I just smile, but on the inside I feel weird. I have tried to explain it to others, but they just don't get it. It's more then that. It's like family. Nobody ever thanks me and says I'm an angel for changing my kids' poopy diapers :) Because they don't have to.. I made a decision to have my own children because that's what made me happy...and now I am choosing to bring THEIR child into the world. Because that's what makes me HAPPY. So I am not an angel...this is something that makes my heart happy, this is something I chose to do. I love them. I love baby "L"...I love what my body is going through...and I am going to love giving birth to him and watching him grow. I am going to love watching "O" and "J" be daddies.

But anyway...just had to get that off my chest :) Other then that the pregnancy is going great! I am 28weeks now...Almost there! It is so crazy how fast it is going by! Not able to eat a lot. I can only eat small portions or else it feels like it is all going to come back up! YUCK! :) But baby L is doing absolutely perfectly and growing..and kicking..a lot.

Heartburn, shortness of breath, big belly...oh my!

So as far as updates go....where do we start? Well, baby "L" has been moving like a maniac! Keeping Aunty Amanda up with his break dancing parties when he should be mimis! I already told his daddies about it... My little tummy tenant can't seem to keep his parties under curfew. :) He is so cute though. Can't complain...that's the best part of pregnancy. I think it finally HIT me the other day our situation...I mean I have ALWAYS wanted to be a surrogate and help a family and this is REAL. It's so awesome! I have always thought of baby L as a person, but he is real to me now. Not just a dream or an egg or embryo. He has a name, a "voice" with his movements. He gets super excited when I eat. It's crazy. It's wonderful.

I was just telling O that some moments, I even forget that I'm pregnant..mostly because I'm not having a baby. THEY are. Which is really different...I got mad for a tiny second today, wondering how I let myself get *this* fat. LMAO...then I felt so stupid when I realized DUH I'm pregnant...LOL.

Hmmm well let's start with the WORST of my symptoms. Ok wait...can the first one be "brain loss?" I couldn't remember how to spell "symptom"...yikes. And I just threw up in my mouth a little because of all the heartburn. But I am very thankful for my super clear, young looking FACE skin. Can't say the same about my chest? Which has decided to look like a mine field with little red bumps everywhere...ummm...eeew. They aren't pimples, just bumps. Which is weird.
  
So more and more people have been noticing I'm pregnant, which is awesome...but kind of sucky that they are JUST NOW noticing. Do I look FAT? My belly certainly doesn't feel tiny... Let's share with the class...

GAY

Is that really such a "bad" thing? Is that REALLY something to be embarrassed about, or hide? Well...O came out to his boss today. And it "came out" to my very traditional Grandfather today. O's boss was very excited for him and even admitted that her own son recently came out to her. My Grandfather actually told me stories of gay men that he knew and said it wasn't something he is against. Which really got to me. It made me so happy to know that he approved. Not that I needed it, I mean, I am already pregnant! LOL But this is something big, this is something that is a part of my life forever. This is my family now.

It got me thinking...my Grandpa and I talked about it briefly. Having 2 dads, yes it isn't "traditional"...but what family really is now a days? I think I was more inclined to work with gay men because having 2 daddies is better then having NONE. I grew up non-traditionally. I grew up with a single mother and a biological father who never gave a crap. And made that very obvious. I would write Father's day cards to my mother. In my opinion I turned out just fine. Why? Because I grew up knowing I was loved. Even if it was only by one parent. Children don't need to grow up traditionally to grow up successful, happy, or anything else.

Little man, you were loved from the day you were just an idea.Your daddies wanted you more then anything else in the world. If you ever feel out of place, just remember that. You always stand up for your family, just as daddy "O" and I did today. Always be proud. Proud that you have 2 parents and a whole family who loves and cares for you. And if you ever need someone to write "Mother's Day" cards too...I'm here and I love you too.

<3 Aunty Amanda

Year of the Dragon

So I just read something, by chance...on yahoo. It is the Chinese "Year if the Dragon". Which happens every 12th year. Come to find out I was ALSO born in the year of the dragon. So not only will the baby and I share being a Gemini, but now we will both be DRAGONS. How cool is that? It just reassures me that this was meant to be. I was meant to bring him into the world. It just reaffirms me being a surrogate all together. Even if I don't have any other coincidences with my future surro-babies...that doesn't make them any less MEANT TO BE. If that makes sense?

At my OB appointment today everything went great and heard little man's heartbeat. I always like hearing it...makes me feel good. He kicks a lot now. I can feel it, and it's getting higher. It was actually really creepy, the other night I woke up at like 12:30am and only felt my right side of my tummy was hard and not the left. He must be growing higher in my uterus, but only likes a certain spot? He's cool. But really active. Good luck O&J! lol Speaking of that...it was really funny! At my appointment, the nurse and I were talking about children. She asked how many I had and I told her...she said well, it will be a lot of work with all 3. I was a little confused. Then i realized "OH! She is assuming I am taking this one home! lol"...So then I said out loud "Oh this baby won't come home with ME"...then SHE was the confused one. So I said "I'm a surrogate.". I was SOOOOOOO happy when she said "Wow, how sweet". I have heard so many horror stories from my many surro friends of witchy nurses. So I feel super blessed! :)

Recent cravings? Well...peaches have been in the stores! So Leah and I have been enjoying those and apricots. I also love chicken. And spicy things. I really don't enjoy sweets like I used to. Which is cool...healthy for the baby! That's all for now! :)

O&J are having a....

BOY! Man...how wonderful is it to finally know! I wasn't thinking I actually had a guess...but there was many times where I would slip and say "He" or "him"...So I think deep down I knew! :) I am so happy for them! This is the first grandson on O's side!  :)  I am so proud of my little surro baby! What wonderful news! And he would NOT stay still! What an active little guy... I love it! It was so amazing to see him moving and giving the ultrasound tech attitude! :) What a strong lil man! I am the happiest surro mommy around right now. So proud!